Tomorrow he will be one.
This has been the best year of my life.
It has been the hardest year of my life.
It’s been the most emotional, the deepest, the sweetest, the loveliest.
Jacob was born a year ago tomorrow, and with him, I was re-born. Being his mother is the most profound responsibility that I have ever had, and I feel it deeply.
A year ago right now I was in labor – experiencing the strangest phenomenon I had ever felt – and not just physically. It was a fruitless labor, ultimately, but it was truly a time of transition – from an old life, to a new one. Being a mother – Jacob’s mother – is a role I was born to hold. The first thirty years of my life contained less metamorphosis than the 31st.
I think back over the past year, and it’s impossible to overstate the impact on my life, or the lives that his has touched. He is loved deeply, fiercely and profoundly. My life is better with him in it.
There’s a lot about the first year that blurs, beautifully, together in my memory, but that first day – those first few precious hours… those remain sharp:
At 10:09, a year ago tomorrow, he was birthed by an act of medical prowess, and let out his first cries. He has “catchers mitts” they said, and he was perfect (IS perfect). “We have a SON!” I kept exclaiming, not quite understanding the blessing that had been bestowed. A short time later, minutes not hours, he was next introduced to our families – my parents first, with Matt and Kelly, and then Scott’s parents and sister. He was deeply loved at only minutes old. Seeing my parents set eyes on him – oh my. I’m weeping over that moment still. Joe being in DC, and wanting to book a flight right that minute, especially when he received the 2am phone call telling him that his nephew was born.
This child has transformed me, and my life.
I will never be the same. And I don’t want to be.