Tuesday, July 19, 2011

on having a roommate

As has been well documented, Scott and I met in college, and dated for 18 months before he accepted an assignment in North Carolina, and then Alabama. We were long distance for about two and a half years, before he came back to Chicago. In the span of our engagement, we went from dating long distance, to dating in the same city (but living separately) to getting married and thus living together. That's a lot of change.

I'll be completely honest - living together is not 100% easy 100% of the time. Before this, I lived alone. Scott lived with his parents. We both liked our living situations, and they both worked well. Neither of us has ever lived with a member of the opposite sex that wasn't a relative. So while we were both excited to start living together, we were also coming from good situations that we liked.

I won't sugarcoat it - there have been challenges while we each figure out how the other person likes (and wants) to live. (For instance, my darling Scott gets up at 5:45 am). I'm positive that the way I like to live has driven Scott nuts a time (or twelve). But I like to think that that is normal, that all new roommates go through a few minutes of figuring each other out and getting in to a new pattern of life and living.

I love living with Scott and not just because I'm so glad to be married him. We definitely have a 2011 marriage. That is - we completely split household chores and duties and items on the to-do list. I can install hardwood floor and he can fire up the washing machine. My life got easier when I moved in with Scott, not harder. He taught me to appreciate full-size garbage cans and legit home-cooked dinners (in my solo years I relied heavily on fine dining a la Lean Cuisine), in addition to a whole list of other great things. I love living with him.

... but, it's not just home cookin' and clean laundry. Living together is not easy all the time. It's been an adjustment getting our internal clocks synched, and getting in to a life rhythm. Though we'd been dating for so long, we'd never really figured out how often we'd do laundry, or who would do it, or how clean we'd keep our place. We have had a healthy dose of "settling in" and figuring out our new life. Each day is better than the one before - less new, more real, more normal.


  1. "less new, more real, more normal"

    I LOVE that line... what a testament to your love and now your marriage.

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