Friday, September 24, 2010

KJM

Here is my confession: I am a people-pleaser.

I want the people around me to think that I am smart, cool, funny. I want people to approve of me. I want people to like me.

I'm not really sure when it all started, but somewhere along the line I lost the self-assuredness of my youth, and grew in to a self-conscious approval-seeking adult. I want the approval of everyone. Relatives that I don't particularly care for (don't worry, it isn't you!), friends-0f-friends that I'll only see once, even the lady at the dry cleaners in my apartment building.

You know what it boils down to?

I want people to like me, even if I don't like them.

What's up with that? It isn't logical and it certainly isn't desired.

So it needs to change, and it's going to. I don't know how to get from here to there, but starting today, starting right this very second, I am making a promise to no one but myself:

The time for kissing ass is over. Time to start kicking it.

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