I am Catholic, but lately it seems I have been struggling more and more. Not with my faith, but with my religion.
The word "Catholic" comes from the Greek word "katholikos" (thanks Wiki!) meaning universal, and to me, it's the way I think a religion should function. A home to anyone who needs one. A place to come, to be accepted, to pray, and to be with other believers.
Lately, I've been hearing and reading more and more about how this sense of universal welcoming simply isn't the norm in the Catholic Church. To be honest, I've started to feel a little unwelcome myself.
As you know, I am getting married in the Catholic Church in just over eight months. I am happy and excited to participate in the Sacrament of marriage, with my partner, and if you'll excuse the cheesy-ness, I'm excited to do it in front of my faith community. I'm not being fake here, I really am excited to be getting married in the Church. When I visualize my wedding day, sure, I think of the reception and the fun I hope to have with my favorite people on the dance-floor. I visualize my Dad walking me down the aisle, and my mom sitting in the front row smiling at me. I also visualize saying my vows to Scott, and promising to love him no matter what... in front of my family and friends.
Lately, though, I've started to feel a little un-easy about the whole thing. I am struggling with my role within the Catholic Church and trying to reconcile my beliefs, with the beliefs of this group that I belong to.
Over the next few days, I will be posting a series of the issues that I have with the Church, in the hopes that I am able to collect my thoughts on each issue enough that I can metaphorically put them in a box in the corner of my mind and accept that I disagree with the Church. Wish me luck.